A lot can change over 4 months, and for me, in these last 4 months my thinking and learning processes have transformed. I remember that in the beginning of the year every major assignment, every piece of literature, really anything that was time consuming, seemed like a struggle. From the moment they were assigned, I kept wishing I could hop into a time machine and teleport to the second after I turned in the project. But over the course of the first semester, I figured out what was really pulling me down. In my head I wasn't grasping the depth of the project. I'd begin working on a project and stare endlessly at a bright computer screen for hours. I forced myself to believe that the time wasted was "brainstorming", and so then it was okay to keep switching between Facebook and Microsoft Word, since I was seeking 'inspiration'.
It's funny; after I procrastinate and rush to finish a project, expecting a horrendous grade I tell myself that the next project I will space out, and do my best on to bring my grade back up. But yet the same cycle repeated, sitting in front of a computer, spending hours typing out no more than a sentence, and then spending the last half hour rushing it all in. The Healing of America essay, Ishmael essay, etc. It soon became routine; I decided it was time for a change.
And luckily, so did my well-educated English teacher Mr. Allen. After doing projects such as the King Lear group performances, we talked about patterns in class of how the tasks were completed. Most people agreed that first the quotes were chosen, then the plot was decided, and then the script was made. And I think that's what triggered this other side of my brain to go off; it told me that I needed to have some structure in what I did. Writing gibberish down on a page and later editing into a 'final draft' was Rohan no more. After that project I knew that the next time we had a project, I was no doubt going to feel much more confident.
Lo and behold, when the Sophie's World essay came around, I felt mentally prepared. I thought about possible topics in my head, and found possible philosophers to back each thesis up. My strongest topic was globalization. After I chose my topic and had my quotes, I had all I needed to start writing my essay, right? No. This is where the biggest improvement my thinking came in. I decided to take that next step, and plan out what each paragraph would be about. First paragraph introduces the topics, next three introduce the subsets, 5th poses the question, next 3 answer the subsets with each of the 3 different philosophers, 9th is conclusion. THEN I started writing my essay.
It felt miraculous. I was stress-free. If I got stuck somewhere, I could just skip to the next paragraph because I knew what had to be in it. Ironically, even with the planning ahead, my essay took a lot less time then it would normally take me.
I applied this attitude to almost everything I did, and something must've clicked in my head, because that month everything I did felt incredibly easy. Even in the most stressed situations, I didn't think "ugh I'm never going to finish", I thought "this will not take me that long, I just have to think about all the things I have to do breeze through it". The feeling is so hard to explain. I felt as if I started doing things backwards. It was like I finished the ending, and all that was left was the beginning and middle. My mind was revitalized.
